Linguistically Challenged
by Krackaroo21
Summary: Princess Peach being kidnapped has been told before, but not in this way. This story is placed at the very beginning of Mario and Luigi coming to the Mushroom kingdom, while trying to save this kidnapped princess. But what about the frustrating language barrier? I own nothing but this story.


**Hello! How are you?** **Here's this idea I've had for a while. Just an interesting one-shot. Enjoy!** **(PS Trying it out in the past tense!)** **(PPS This is the very beginning, but not quite. Think of it like an alternate universe, but with a different story behind it.)**

 **\--E--**

It was a small room. A small dungeon. One that could be use as an walk-in closet where you'd put all of your dresses and shoes in. But it was large enough that Bowser could strut in and tease you about being a prisoner.

He had said, "For a princess as respected as you are, you're a weakling!. How ironic!"

Princess Peach, hands chained to the floor, had protested, but her dignity was already lost the moment the Koopa King struck her kingdom. If only she hadn't wasted her star power with helping the toads for Toadworth's birthday party, then she could've resisted. She could've protected herself and her kingdom.

But, alone and discouraged, the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom was useless. At the moment, Bowser was away to see what his minions were reporting. Peach wished to hear the trouble, wishing to know what made Bowser boil, but no luck. The small room was sound proof, yet she heard goombas outside. Yelling? Crying? Whining?

She guessed, by the way Bowser paced outside, that something was wrong. That was good in her case, perhaps. Was there a knight storming the castle for her?

Princess Peach wiped a smudge of dirt off her dress. She wasn't captured for too long, about three days, but every second was longer than the last. How was Toadsworth coping with it? Surely he sent someone to save her? That was what he would do.

An hour later since Bowser walked off to take matters into his own claws, Peach listened and saw through the door lock. The lock of a skeleton key. Shadows clash. Fire balls revealed precise figures. A man and the Koopa King.

Someone came.

Instead of waiting for the knight, Peach yanked at the chain. Useless, but weakened the chains. She used her heel to smash it, but no dice. Having a knight to save her will be too embarrassing to face Daisy with. ("You're such a damsel in distress, Peach!" or "I thought you were tougher!")

It happened fast. A great thud, like a fallen tree, echoed through the castle, which even Peach heard it. An axe fell. That wasn't the knight that fell?

Silence.

Silence then footsteps, but they weren't like beast paws hammering over stone. It was boots.

"Hello? Who's there?" She called, waiting for a reply, and became impatient. She should know who was saving her. "Hello?"

The boots walked pass her door, but corrected itself. There must have been many doors around her cell if the knight got confused. But now the boots found her and the door broke down.

She didn't find a knight in shining armor.

With a red cap, red shirt, overalls, a well-cared for mustache, a man appeared. Short, fluffy, but with a powerhouse flare. This man crept up to her, like he didn't know what to do.

Peach cleared her throat, "Who are you?"

The man, already confused, furrowed his eyebrows again, mouthing something.

"I said, who are you?"

He didn't say anything, but knelt down and worked on her handcuffs with a pair of skimpy screwdrivers from his pockets.

"Excuse me," She said, "I don't understand why you don't speak, er..." She connected something together, "or are you mute? Or deaf?"

The man looked up at her with impatience of his own, "Guarda, non ho idea di cosa stai dicendo."

"What?"

She never heard any language like that one before. It was foreign, even to the Bean Bean Kingdom's dialect. But, if she understood him or not, the chain broke. She rubbed her wrists.

"Thank you..." She started, but remembered that he has a foreign tongue, "Uh... I should ask your name though." But how to do it?

"Uh, name?"

"Che cosa?"

"Name."

The man scratched his head, "Name..." The word seemed to be funny to him, like it was gibberish. His accent bled through it, even at a one syllable word. Yet he might have gotten her question.

"Mario."

"Mario?"

He nodded, gesturing to her.

"My name?"

He shrugged.

"Princess Peach."

Mario snapped his fingers, his gloved tips, "La principessa! ti stavo cercando."

All she did was nod her head the best she could. She shouldn't be rude.

They heard Koopa Troopas storm in a mile away. A army of them swept the hallways. Shadows painted on stone walls. Mario and Peach heard the guards, so he helped her up and they bolted. Corridor corners flew by like a breeze.

Mario's heels hovered over the floor, yet the Princess had to work extra hard to keep up. Standing on her knees for hours straight was taxing, but so was her high heels. Running in them was murder.

Slowing down, Mario looked back, held a door open for them to go through, as Peach finally caught up. Calves melted into hardening iron.

"Sorry! I knew I should've wore my sneakers last sunday!"

He didn't understand, but jerked towards the doorway. "Non so cosa stai facendo, ma dobbiamo andare da questa parte. In fretta!"

Peach, wobbling feet, sped through the door, entering a room full of comfortable warmth and fire. Lava pits. Although there was a small bridge that reached across the red moat, Parakoopa Troopas mingled with the rising heat. She almost fell in if Mario didn't grab her arm in time.

"Attento, principessa!"

"Thank you! But..."

The Hero already left the room, returning back to the hallway of enemies. She peeked out to see bouncing shells and flattened goombas. Through the fumes of turtle odor, Mario hopped along the shells in a calculated fashion. Long jumps. Tall jumps. He cleared the way so not too many threats followed them. He came back and grabbed her hand, leading her across the thin bridge, like her arm was a balloon string.

Keeping her heels from hitting the bridge cracks was impossible, especially at Mario's speed. "Halt! I can't run this fast..."

He turned back with alarm, waving her to hurry across the bridge's midway point-- the most unsteady part of the bridge. The bridge was stable wood, yet its structure was untrustworthy. Their only option to escape the storming koopas on land and air.

"Cosa fai? Sbrigati o ci prenderanno!"

What she would've gave for a translator and her tennis shoes. "Stop yelling at me! I don't know what you're staying to the slightest!"

He looked ticked off. Ticked off to the same degree of frustration and stress as the Princess. But, for the sake of time, safety, and lack of communication, he hurried toward her and picked her up in a swift motion.

"Wh-wha-- I didn't say you could do that!"

"Non c'è tempo per discutere!"

"You and that dumb language!" Although, she thought, it sounded like he could be in one of Toadworth's soap opera on tv. Emotional and clearly soprano.

They outran the flocking enemies. Peach's shoes fell into the lava pits, which were rising up as if an alarm. It toasted her cheeks to burn.

Being honest, she was surprised how someone a little shorter than her could pick her up without lagging behind to the swarming enemies. Koopa Troopas couldn't catch him, even if he wasn't terribly fast. Yet outrunning the guards, and working together, was the essential detail to their escape.

Minutes later, after running off the bridge, they went down more corridors, stomping goombas. Peach said she'd help, but she had no shoes. Even if she said she would help, Mario wouldn't have understood it. There were many times he had to use loud, spacious hand gestures just to hint any meaning. No communicating while escaping the castle was like charades on a tightrope.

She nearly walked off another bridge.

"No, vattene da lì!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Che cosa?!"

"I don't know!"

Eventually, after the hallway maze, they reached a courtyard and a mob of patrolling hammer bros. They cried out and order hammers to fly. It rained down and Mario had to dodge each one with a princess in his arms.

"We have to get out of the open!"

He didn't understand, but weaved around mallets and worked his way toward the guards. Inching toward the hammer-throwers and exit. The exit stood a hundred feet away.

"No!" Peach frowned, having to cling on to him as he took out the hammer bros with liberal jumps, "We need to find a shelter then think of a plan!"

Hammer bros went to surround him, but with a koopa shell he saved from earlier, he easily knocked them away, except for a handful. They threw hammers like frisbees and smacked him in the jaw. He shielded the Princess he best he could, the very best since they were in the open, and waited for the wave to stop so he could pounce.

Mario cursed something in italian as a hammer knocked his knee and hip. He hobbled and kicked a guard to the ground. Then another. He pressed on.

"What did I say?! You're the cockiest pair of overalls I've ever met!"

"Smetti di urlare nel mio orecchio." He grunted.

"Look, you're in pain now. If you'd think before you jumped, then you wouldn't've have that. I may be a princess but I know a thing or two about tactics." Peach crossed her arms. "I can tell you're not from around here by the way you fight these hammer bros... I bet you picked up fighting goombas and koopa troopas on your way here though... If I could talk with you, I would've helped you not get hit."

Mario could tell, even through the yelling hammer bros, that she was nagging. He rolled his eyes.

They traveled out of the gate, which didn't have a drawbridge miraculously. They escaped. A flow of hammers waved them off.

 **\--E--**

Imagine you're sitting in a meeting. A grand table with ambassadors from other kingdoms there to discuss problems and policies. Except you can't hear or say anything because the meeting is all communicated telepathically. That's what it felt like to sit in front of a glowing fire with a quiet man sitting across from that. Nothing can be said. Peach, after her experience, wanted someone to talk with. Someone to help take away boiling thoughts. Maybe even vent.

While the Princess wiped more dirt off her crown and dress, bubbling with a bottled toxin in her throat, Mario fidgeted with a super mushroom. Squished and tried to make sense out of it.

"Now I know you're really a foreigner if you don't know what a super mushroom is." Peach said, desperate to replace the awkward for something comfortable. Anything easy after her kidnapping sounded perfect.

Mario didn't even try to ask what she meant.

Nothing can be said.

Peach prodded the fire to burn on. The smoke rose up to the treetops. Since they were too far to make it back to the palace in time, they made camp here. Made camp here in a forest. But the whispering woods were too much for her, especially being ignored or made fun of during the whole ordeal. Isolation did a number on her. A simple chat would be a true blessing.

"Y'know, it wouldn't be rude to even try and talk." She frowned, "I know we can't understand each other but..." She just wanted someone to talk to. Something to distract her.

Mario put a fist to his bruised jaw, bored. "Se sapessi cosa stavi dicendo, di cosa parlerebbe?"

It was nice to hear a voice at least.

She mimicked the fist to her jaw. "Whatever you speak, I must say it does sound lovely... Sorry for calling it dumb earlier."

The man shrugged. A smile under his mustache. Peach guessed he was light-heart by that, and by the way he played with the mushroom like it was a creature. Kept it perched on his knee.

In order to keep the few words alive, the few meanings, the life, Peach pressed on. "What was that word you kept saying to me?" She hurried to recall, "Che cosa?"

Mario perked.

"Is that right? Okay..." She really wanted a reason to talk, even if Mario looked ready for a nap and maybe not in the mood for talking (especially if talking is useless). She snatched a thing from the ground. "Rock."

"Sì?"

"Rock." She pointed.

"...Una pietra?"

"A pietra?" She tasted the word. "Sounds a lot prettier than rock. How's this? Tree." She pointed, emphasizing the bark and leaves.

"Un albero?"

"Un albero..."

Mario was picking up her intent. Maybe he was bored enough to play along. Today was too serious. He pointed to the fire. "Fuoco."

"Fire."

"Fire." He repeated, liking the word.

"Foglia."

"Leaf."

"Leaf."

"Bug."

"Insetto."

"Insetto."

Mario picked up the super mushroom, "Fungo."

"Oh that's one sounds familiar! Mushroom."

"Mus'croom."

"No, muSHroom."

"...Mus'croom."

"You're accent's funny!"

And so on.

They pointed at the moon, the stars, the bugs, some numbers, and even colors and textures. Princess Peach like fiore, which meant flower. It sounded romantic to her, especially when Mario brought it to her. A yellow one. She was surprised, but then got what he was doing. She learned another word and kept the flower.

"Giallo fiore." She, admiring the simple flower, loved how the words played on her tongue. "Giallo fiore..."

"Fiore giallo."

"What?"

"What?"

They smiled.

 **\--E--**

They made it home a day later. After Mario left her to rule back in the castle, he returned to his new home in the kingdom. Princess Peach made sure to have better guards with more training so nothing like that could happen again, she hoped. A work in progress. But, for now, she was content with being home again. Sitting on her balcony, drinking tea with Toadsworth.

"I would really like to thank this Mario character for saving you, Princess. I really had my blood pressure going there for a while!"

She laughs nervously, but agrees. "Yes, let's do host a small gathering."

"Shouldn't be hard to invite him." Toadsworth said, "He's a new resident here."

"That's grand!"

Later that week, in the throne room, Mario and Luigi bowed before her.

"Mario, good to see you again." She said, but forgot about the language barrier for a brief, happy moment. "...Oh, um, who's the other?"

"I am Luigi, Princess. Mario's brother." He said, catching her off guard.

"You know our language?"

"Yes, I know a little english." He explained, a lovely accent dripping off each word, "Before Mario and I found a pipe, we live in Brooklyn. He has not learned english yet, but I took classes a few."

"How good!" She praised, "When Mario rescued me, I couldn't say anything to him and it made it tricky."

"Yes, yes," Luigi put his cards together for what to say next and how to say it, "I helped save you, but I was not there because of a... in'jury with a mus'croom one."

He meant a goomba. The bandages on his leg proved it.

"I see, well I'll have to make you a cake too." She smiled.

"Cake?" Luigi said, he may or may not knew what that was called, "Okay, thank you very much."

Mario elbowed him, asking what he was saying. Luigi said a dribble of italian, told him to do something, then they both nodded.

"Fank you!" Mario said, then gets elbowed, "...Th-thank you!"

Peach giggles.

 **\--E--**

 **I leave with you more thoughts. How long do you think it took Mario to learn english? Do you think Mario and Luigi's trip to save the Princess was easy, considering they are new to the whole kingdom? Just some food for thought!** **Thanks for reading! Have a golly good day!**


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